Wherever there are humans, there is
conflict. Disputes can crop up in families, friends circles, neighborhoods and
even workplaces. Unlike other areas though, workplace conflicts have to be
handled with greater care. You can’t just say and do anything you like because
there are serious legal ramifications of doing the wrong thing in a
professional setting.
At HiCounselor, we like to help people
get the best out of their professional lives, which is why we’ve created this
short guide on how you can tackle office disputes. If you need help securing a
job or giving your career a boost, get in touch with us and have a chat with
one of our helpful mentors!
1. Talk in a Private Place
If you find yourself being one part of
a workplace conflict, the first thing you need to do is find a place to talk
where you won’t be disturbed or overheard. Conflict resolution is a delicate
process and you don’t want others trying to eavesdrop or even accidentally
interrupting your conversation. It’s best if you find a neutral ground that
isn’t either party’s office or “turf”. Find a safe and secure location so you
can hash things out.
2. Really Listen
Don’t launch into your list of
grievances right at the outset. Invite the other person to speak first. This
makes you look like the bigger person and shows you want to reach a resolution
rather than continue the fight in a more private setting. When the other person
is talking, really listen without defensiveness to see if there’s any truth in
their statements. Don’t interrupt while they’re talking and ask questions once
they’re finished to ensure you understand their
opinions.
3. Only Speak for Yourself
Maybe other colleagues have confided in
you that they too have problems with the colleague with whom you’re in a
workplace conflict. Don’t speak for anyone else, however, when you’re in
conflict resolution. Only talk about your own experiences and opinions.
Mentioning others might make your colleague feel like you’re all ganging up on
them, which will probably defeat the purpose of the meeting. Your other
colleagues, too, might not appreciate being dragged into the situation if
things escalate.
4. Be Mindful
When you’re addressing the workplace
conflict with your colleague, try to frame your sentences in a way that focuses
on the situation rather than the person. For example, you can say, “When x
happened…” rather than, “When you did x…”. Give specific instances of things
you didn’t appreciate rather than generalizations that might make your
colleague feel like everything they do irritates you. It would be great if you managed
to point out some things your colleague did that you liked.
5. Agree to Disagree
Most of the time, it’s hard to get
people to agree on any given situation. The movie ‘Rashomon’ does a great job
of examining how everyone’s version of “the truth” is different. More than
likely, there’ll be some instances where you and your colleague will differ no
matter how much you try to explain your points of view. Don’t get hung up on
those. The idea is not to win by proving your point but to resolve the
workplace conflict so your workflow isn’t interrupted.
6. Focus on Solutions, not Problems
The longer you discuss the problem and
what each of you feel about it, the more entrenched you’ll get in your
positions. Once you’ve covered the cause of the workplace conflict,
start focusing on the possible resolutions. Ask your colleague what they’d like
to have happen to resume the normal flow of things. Also state what sort of
solution would work best for you. Try to see if you have any common ground as
far as solutions are concerned.
7. Aim for a Win-Win Solution
When you discuss solutions with your
colleague, odds are you’ll have different ideas about the best way to resolve
the workplace conflict. If either of you starts insisting on getting your way,
things are going to stall and then have to be taken to higher ups or the HR
department. The best resolution is probably one where you both get some of what
you want, rather than one person getting everything they want. Go for a win-win
solution so neither party feels defeated.
8. Keep Your Cool
Like we mentioned before, workplace
conflicts need to be handled with care. You should avoid raising your voice or
making any kind of personal attacks on your colleague, no matter how tempted
you are to unleash that witty zinger. In fact, your office can be a great
setting to display your emotional intelligence. Approaching the situation with
empathy and understanding is most likely to get you success and make you look
good to others.
9. Address Problems When They’re Small
A lot of us are conflict-averse, which
means we’d rather avoid disagreements and not openly address problems.
Sometimes this can work against us. If we don’t let others know we don’t like
certain things, they’ll keep doing them. We, in turn, will keep building up
resentment silently until we finally blow. Don’t wait for the workplace
conflict to become a shouting match before addressing it. Try to resolve
disputes while they’re still minor in nature.
We hope these tips help you find the
resolution you’re seeking! Check out our article on teamwork
skills to help build better relationships with your colleagues. If
you’re looking for a job and would like some expert assistance, get in touch
with us at HiCounselor to see how we can help boost your career!
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