Being shy is not a flaw in your personality. But individuals who are shy know how debilitating it is to feel so withdrawn, especially in a social or professional setting. Psychologists agree that shyness may limit a person's ability to show their best side when interviewing, networking, in group gatherings or at a water cooler discussion. This is probably why studies have revealed that shy people are more likely to be unemployed as well as less likely to make progress in their careers.
More than 50% of adults are classified as shy. If you are one of them and your shyness is holding you back, discover how to overcome it with these unique tips.
Tips to Overcome Shyness
Begin by overcoming shyness with these unique strategies that will assist you in becoming a more confident person.
1. Don't tell.
It's not necessary to show your insecurities. The people familiar with you may know or they may not be able to observe them. It's not as obvious as you believe.
2. Keep it simple.
If people bring up the subject of your insecurity, keep your voice neutral. If it is part of a conversation, be sure to speak about it in a light-hearted manner.
3. Make your voice more mellow.
If you're prone to blushing when uneasy, don't associate it with being shy. Let it be an individual thing: "I've always been quick to blush."
4. Do not use the warning.
Do not label yourself shy or as something else. Allow yourself to be described as an individual with a distinct personality with no one main characteristic.
5. Stop self-sabotaging.
Sometimes, we are our own worst enemies. Don't let the inner voice of your critic bring you down. Instead, look into the strength of that voice, so you can squelch it.
6. Find your strengths.
Create a list of your strengths. Request a partner or family member to assist when you're in need. Read it or repeat it whenever you're feeling anxious. Remind yourself of the value you can give.
7. Be careful when choosing relationships.
People who are shy have fewer, but more meaningful friendships. This means that your choice of the right partner or friend is more crucial. Spend time with those in your life who are receptive, friendly and supportive.
A few shy people could suffer from a social anxiety disorder, that's characterized by a fear of judgment or shame and a feeling of powerlessness or guilt in social settings. It can also be so crippling that it affects the ability of a person to live their everyday life or develop lasting relationships. If you think you have a social anxiety disorder, it's always a wise idea to consult a mental health professional.
Dealing with Workplace Shyness
Concentrate on your colleagues (instead of internal conversations)
If you have trouble with self-talk issues, it's possible to become so caught up in the thoughts that are going through your head that it takes over or even dominates your relationships. Next time, when you’re with your colleagues in a conference, try shifting your attention to the outside world. Listen carefully to what people around you are saying, follow up with questions and pay attention to the dynamics of the group. You will then be able to make connections with your colleagues and remain focused on the work at the moment instead of being distracted by stress.
Fake it until you make it
Research suggests that facing your fears is one of the best ways to diminish them. Staying away from what scares you can only add to your anxiety. If, for instance, you're unable to overcome your fear of speaking out, then it's less likely that you'll be selected as a candidate for a management position.
Begin to gradually ease into feeling less shy by giving yourself a daily goal like, "Today I will contribute one new idea during the brainstorming session." Then, during the 90 seconds or whatever time you need to present your ideas, pretend that you are a confident and assertive person. With small steps, you'll gradually increase your confidence, allowing you to achieve bigger goals. At some point, you'll discover that you're not faking your confidence. It could also be beneficial to enroll in classes in acting as it will offer you a safe setting to practice speaking before others and even speaking up when you aren't comfortable.
Plan ahead
The process of preparation can take different forms. If you're anxious about a conference, take some time to make an outline of how you can participate in the subjects listed in the agenda. If you're worried about the water cooler chat with colleagues, take a look at the day's news before you go to work to ensure you're able to initiate conversations. If you're worried about a presentation, hold an informal rehearsal at your home or with your friends during the days preceding the actual event. No matter what the occasion, it is worthwhile to be prepared.
Combat negative self-talk
Changing negative self-talk into positive self-talk is an effective method to lessen anxiety around social situations. Instead of thinking, "There's no way I have something valuable to add to this conversation," think about replacing that thought by saying something positive like, "Like everyone else, I have a unique perspective to share." Try to be aware of the times you criticize yourself and respond to those criticisms with affirmations. Develop a routine and you'll notice your self-confidence increase.
Eye contact
Eye contact shows that you're involved in the conversation and that you respect the person (or individuals) you are conversing with. It's also an excellent way to build connections with colleagues. Make sure to not get too intense. Long-lasting and unrelenting eye contact could cause people to feel uncomfortable.
Socialize with colleagues
Befriending your colleagues can make you confident while interacting with them in a professional environment. Invite colleagues out for coffee or lunch. Start by having a private conversation to see if you're at ease in large groups. Join a club at work or a committee. Meet your coworkers as individuals and you'll see that they're not as bad as you initially thought.
Do breathing exercises regularly.
If we are feeling stressed, this can manifest in our bodies with light-headedness and muscle tension. The ability to control your breathing can ease the symptoms of anxiety so that it doesn't build up. Consistently practicing yoga, meditation or progressive muscle relaxation or other breathing exercises may help you develop the confidence to manage social anxiety.
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