Damn. You’re here. Let’s get on with it then. So you have a crush on a colleague and are wondering what to do about it. Best advice? Do nothing. The likelihood of this being the love of your life is low. Remember what Thomas Moore said, “Romantic love is an illusion. Most of us discover this truth at the end of a love affair or else when the sweet emotions of love lead us into marriage and then turn down their flames.” But you’re not going to listen to us, are you?
We want your career to progress as smoothly and painlessly as possible. Which is why HiCounselor created this short guide on how to handle an office crush without losing your grip on reality. If you need help getting your professional life on the right track, contact us and speak to one of our helpful experts.
It’s More Common Than You Think
A survey by the Society for Human Resource Management revealed that office romances saw an uptick in 2021. More than one-third of US workers admitted they were or are in a workplace relationship. That’s a 7-percentage-point rise from 2020. Nearly 2 in 5 workers had been asked out on a date by a colleague while 1 in 4 had done the asking.
Strangely enough, working remotely seems to have added to workplace romance as 25 percent of American workers began or maintained their office relationship during the pandemic. Around 70 percent said they are or have been in an office relationship. Given that we spend a good deal of our time with our colleagues, these findings aren’t all that surprising.
Don’t Discuss It With Coworkers
You can be infatuated with someone and want to talk about how awesome you find them. Talk to your family, your friends, hell, even an online forum, but avoid disclosing your feelings to your colleagues. Social groups need fodder to chew on and you don’t want your office crush becoming the butt of jokes or water cooler talk creating awkward situations at work.
Find Out More About Them
You might like how they look, how they work, or how they behave with others but that doesn’t mean you really know your office crush. You also need to know if they are single, dating, coupled, or in a “it’s complicated” situation. Look them up on social media, ask them casually about their after-work life, or ask their teammates more about them to get to know them better.
Become More Productive
Unlike what people might have told you about having infatuations, some research suggests that an office crush can bring out the best in you. In your efforts to impress your crush, you can end up impressing your team and your boss as well! So go ahead and reach work on time, dress sharp, be charming in conversations, discuss ideas to make things better, etc.
Be Realistic
There are some situations where we shouldn’t act on how we feel. Sometimes, a workplace crush shouldn’t go any further than a mental fantasy. This holds true if your office has rules against relationships, if either of you is in a manager role over the other, if they’re married or committed, etc. Think about what would happen if you dated and it didn’t work out. Do you think you could go back to being coworkers without any hiccups?
Find Out The Company Policy
Most companies have done away with the ban on office relationships but that doesn’t mean workplace crushes aren’t frowned upon. Find out if your office requires relationship disclosures and paperwork. See how previous office relationships were handled by the HR and colleagues. This should give you a good idea about the social ramifications of making any moves.
To Act Or Not To Act?
This is the most important question to ask yourself: should you try to date your coworker or not? Remember that most feelings will fade with time so no matter how strong your office crush seems right now, you might not feel the same way in a couple of months. If you do decide to ask them out, make sure you keep everything on the up-and-up so nothing boomerangs back on you later.
Maybe Casually Hang Out?
One way to have your cake and eat it too when it comes to your office crush is to hang out socially. You can ask a couple of your coworkers (including your crush) to watch a movie, go to a pub, try out a restaurant, go rock-climbing, etc. This will allow you to interact with your crush without putting pressure on your new and unexplored emotions.
Don’t Torture Yourself
Sometimes people feel guilty about crushes, seeing them as inappropriate in certain settings. Emotions can creep up on you unexpectedly. That’s life. There’s no need to feel bad about getting a crush on someone. Just accept your emotions and decide what you want to do about them. If you ask your coworker out and get shot down, that’s fine too. Life involves taking risks. Not all risks work out in our favor but as long as we take them as learning lessons, it isn’t a complete loss.
We hope these tips will help you handle your office crush smoothly! If you’re looking for help in jumpstarting your career, get in touch with us at HiCounselor and tell us what you’re looking for. Our experts are there to help you find your ideal dream job!
HiCounselor has forged technical advances to transform the hiring landscape for job seekers and recruiters alike. Our career accelerator program provides job seekers with coaching and mentorship from industry leaders employed at FAANG companies while recruiters ally with HiCounselor to empower their hiring strategy and hone in on the best candidates. Learn more about HiCounselor here and reach out to us on LinkedIn, Facebook and YouTube.
https://discord.gg/GUPad7ETad